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Friday, 18 May 2012

Coke-Meal for Science

Coke + Oatmeal = Coke-Meal

Coke-Meal + Microwave = Mess

Basically, I free based Coca~Cola with Oatmeal.

For Science!

Second Bite

Finishing Move

It isn't good, but it isn't bad. It just tastes like lumpy Coca~Cola. If Coke could curdle, this would be the result, except it still tastes like cola syrup and not sour milk.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

First Impressions

Tuesday evening I wandered over to Laura's workplace to keep her company while she finished some late-evening work. While I waited I grabbed some Post-It notes and left a message for the new receptionist, who had started on Monday:

Sunday, 06 May 2012

Yodeling My Chicken

Today is just another Sunday on the Internet, and I am not personally going to attempt to either understand or explain what in the hell this is. However, the best description I have found thus far is "I love nothing more than randomness and a Bavarian man of Asian descent yodeling like a chicken to a Euro-pop beat."

Thank you, Internet. Thank you.

Friday, 04 May 2012

An Author, An E-mail, A Sticker
Monday night we had book club, where we encountered an eclectic group of older poets whose pens are still anchored to the beat era for which their minds still pine. One of the poets wore a hat that appeared to be a dead peacock dyed neon blue. We relocated to a different region of the coffee shop and discussed Sinclair Lewis's "Kingsblood Royal". Though I do enjoy his writing style and the book was surely sensational at the time, now it falls in the "Eh" category.

A while back I grabbed drinks with some coworkers, and I ended up in a conversation with one of my coworker's friends. She is some sort of author. I told her that I am in a book club, and she responded negatively: "That is a feminine thing to do." First, no it isn't. Second, why would she, as an author, take a stab at someone who enjoys books? Third, she apparently has never published a book (the Internet yielded no relevant search results).

I received an e-mail that stated: "Yes sir, your all set."

Three possibile interpretations:
1. He meant you're.
2. He misspelled my name.
3. I possess an "all set", which I presume is similar to the All Spark in the lore of Transformers.
Tuesday and Wednesday I performed open mic at the Purple Onion. Someone asked me to be in an upcoming comedy show. An invitation which I had to decline in a very "first world problem" fashion as I will be in Brazil on the date of the show. I tried to pass it off as simply being gone, but then they asked where I'd be.

Thursday I woke up at 4:30am to be on an early morning phone call, and I lost the rest of the day in a blur of day dreams about feather pillows followed by seeing the movie "The Five-Year Engagement". The movie is okay, but the plot needs to be tightened up and the length reduced by 40 minutes.

And earlier this week I had my first attempt at the "I Wish This Was" stickers:

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Got To-Go

Last night we saw Ivan & Alyosha open for Rosie Thomas at the Hotel Utah in SOMA. The Hotel Utah happens to have a bar inside of it that happens to have a cavity in it. Someone looked at that cavity, which is substantially smaller than our apartment, and decided to jam a tiny stage in it, cram a few chairs in front of that, and then let thirty people sardine in behind the chairs.

Yes, you can fit a stage inside of a bar inside of a hotel, but the result is more novel than practical. It is the equivalent of a turducken. And though the space is a bit awkward, we enjoyed the concert.

As I purchased a beer at the bar, I noticed that one of my fellow concert goers had a to-go box of Chinese food. And I really wanted to buy it from her. I didn't want to buy it because I needed dinner. I wanted to buy it just to baffle Laura by returning with some random stranger's Chinese food.

I'll give you $10 for that Chinese food.
Why?
Because I have $10.
Okay. If you really want it. But you have to recycle the box.
Deal.

She returns to her friends...

Jenny, what happened to your Chinese food?
I sold it to that guy over there.
Why did you do that?
He had $10.
He doesn't look like someone who would recycle.
I had the same thought!

Meanwhile I return to Laura...

What are you eating?
Chinese food.
Why?
Because I bought it.
Do they sell it at the bar?
Nope. That girl over there does.
You can't keep eating food from strangers*! You'll recycle the box, right?

(* A friend had a birthday at a pizza parlor. I love pizza crust and I didn't know most of the people. But I trust the friends of my friends, so I spent some time convincing these stranger-friends to give me their unwanted crust.)

Then anytime I spotted someone with a to-go box of Chinese food, I'd buy it. Eventually Laura would turn to Dear Abbey for help.

Dear Abbey,

My boyfriend keeps buying to-go boxes of Chines food from strangers. I'm not appalled, but I find the behavior concerning. And I think he has started doing it when I'm not around. Also he has started to carry low-sodium soy sauce and a pair chopsticks with him at all times. How do I address the issue without making him mad?

Sincerely,
Chop-stuck.