August 18, 2010

• Output

  The light in my hallway must be either prude or burned out, because it isn’t putting out photons. I haven’t replaced the bulb yet, because the ceiling is tall and I have to use a ladder (specifically I am 5’9 with arms of normal length and the ceiling is 12′). In the mean time, Laura put a most awesome note on the switch:

  

  If an alien ever plants its young inside of me, I’ll pretend the alien is a female that way the story has a silver lining.

  I’m okay with the BP oil spill, because it now we have dead animals to use for bio-fuel. Forget jet packs. I’m all about the dolphin powered car.

  One of my friends wants to go on an expensive ocean fishing trip. Basically, you go fishing in a kayak. When you catch a giant fish, you let it pull your kayak around until it gets tired. Then you pull the fish to shore and eat it. I think he should take the poor man’s version of the trip. The idea is the same, but instead you just rent a rickshaw.

  This is a blank page from the beer log I keep. If a prostitute kept a log, her journal probably has the same headings and categories.

  

  I’m going to invent the most addictive game ever: Grand Theft Dance Dance Halo Rock Farmville.

  Health insurance should really have co-pay options for the toy robots I purchase. Sure, toy robots don’t improve my physical health, but they do improve my mental health.

  • 9:04 pm
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