November 21, 2008

• , , , , , Chameleon

  That was pretty clever, wasn’t it?

  I am not concerned about maximizing the shine and bounce of my hair, and I don’t have long flowing
  golden locks. Never the less, I always shampoo my hair twice. I’m not addicted
  to the scent of Garnier or whatever shampoo I happened to grab the last time I bought a bottle.
  Instead, I’m addicted to laughter, because every time I wash my hair I laugh a little bit and think to myself “Recursive function!”

  “Lather, rinse, repeat.” See!

  I explained this to Laura the other night, and that is how she came to know what recursive functions
  are.

  

  Sometimes shampoo and conditioner come packaged together. I think if you have the piece of mind to
  purchase shampoo, you’ll probably remember the conditioner. Instead I believe we should help the
  mendicant population smell a bit better. Let’s package bottles of body soap with vodkas
  and whiskeys. It will be called “Olfactory’s Saving Graces: You forget ‘nam and we forget you smell.”

  If I’m ever forced to live on the street, I’m going to save up for gin and tonics. Whose with me? I might still
  be poor, but at least I’d have class. And if I ever met someone with vermouth, we’d raise our
  classiness, raise our glasses, pretend to be James Bond, then get together and call ourselves an
  institute. Later on we’d invite Paul Simon to join us. We might have better luck getting Garfunkel
  though. He probably lives on the street already and he definitely doesn’t have anything better to do. Whereas
  Paul is still busy leading a career.

  I give homeless people coupons for olives instead of money. At least then they can make proper
  martinis. If a martini can’t brighten up the day, then nothing can, except washing your hair twice.
  So in a way, I guess I’m substituting shampoo for martinis.

  function shampoo(int x) {
   if (x > 0) {
    lather();
    rinse();
    shampoo(x-1);
   }
  }
  

  • 4:02 am
  • 9 Comments