September 16, 2010
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Fish and Chips
I love a good wine or beer, but I am not a fan of liquors. If I am going to consume something, I want it to taste good, and to me a 25 year old single malt scotch tastes the same as a scotch made by a two-bit bum who mixed rubbing alcohol with left over cigarette butts. On the other hand, I do like gins and vodkas.
Sometimes people ask weird questions in response to answers. For some reason, whenever I say “I like gin and vodka” someone undoubtedly looks at me and asks “Together?” What the hell, people. I might like to mix some weird tastes but even that is beyond me.
Foods I Hate:
- Potatoes – Before you ask “What about potato salad or twice-baked potatoes or mashed potatoes,” remember it is the ingredient not the recipe I dislike. The problem with your potato recipe is that it contains potato. People are always trying to convert me to liking potatoes, as though they’re Mormons and I just opened up my apartment door and invited them in.
- Beans – They are just tiny potatoes in disguise.
- Cooked Carrots – Cooking a carrot is like beating a dead horse. Just eat the thing how you found it.
- Celery – Because it makes every other damn vegetable on the vegetable plate taste like celery. Second, if I want to feel like I flossed, I’ll just floss.
- Peanut Butter – I love peanuts of all sorts, but I dislike peanut butter by itself. The taste is too intense.
Outside of those 4 items, I pretty much will eat anything.
Exceptions to the Rules:
- French fries are okay, because they’re potatoes that have been baptized. But they have to be thin and crisp.
- Peanut butter plus a sufficient amount of chocolate is acceptable. e.g, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
On a completely separate side note, check out this photograph:
It is almost serene until you realize that they’re hundreds of thousands of dead fish that turned up in a Louisiana river *cough* bp *cough*.
Don’t worry, all the dead animals will coagulate together and go in to rigamortis. And then we’ll be able to just drive up and down the river on our bridges made of fish. Move over cement. The construction material of the future has arrived.
Finally, this is brilliant:
Comments (7)
Actually — found a fucking great bar downtown, cheap, and well-located. Want me to text you directions?
@Drakonskyr - Yea, send them my way. I’ll be near Union square tomorrow night, so if this place is much further than the castle, the castle would be easier for me.
The photos of the pond with the ” dead fishes ” are impressing .
About the food you hate , the tastes are so different from a country to another !
Thank for your visit .I am glad the hot balloons recalled to you good memory .
In friendship.
Michel
The smell must be something.
the dead fish kinda freak me out. However, i’m right with you re: carrots and i’m not a big bean liker either..
I thought there was something fishy about that photo.
omg i laughed SO SO hard at this post. thanks.