June 9, 2011
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X-Men: First Class Piece of…
I have never walked out of a movie in theater, but last night I seriously contemplated it while watching X-Men: First Class. I’d not originally planned to see the movie, but I changed my mind after reading a piece Wired ran on 8 things the movie did right and RottenTomatoes.com gave it 86%. I wanted to enjoy this movie, to like it, to walk away with a level of surprise and enjoyment. But Matthew Vaughn, the director, brutally raped and pillaged any chance of that.
The entire movie represented a complete void of originality, inspiration, focus, or craftsmanship. The 100% predictable plot had been thinned to the width of a micron, which got a further burial from the limp dialogue. The young mutants recruited harbored the least creative or evocative powers you can imagine (think along the lines of: “I know! How about a mutant named Car Hop who can rollerskate really fast”). Aside from Xavier and Eric, the only interesting mutant in the movie was Darwin. Of the good guys, he is the only one to die, which seemed extra cruel since he was essentially the only non-Caucasian in the movie.
Writer 1: “I have an idea for a black mutant named Darwin. His power is that he can rapidly evolve to adapt to any situation.”
Writer 2: “Too bad he couldn’t turn white.”Oh, foolish me for thinking we’d steered away from the pattern of the 1980′s:
And on top of all that sat weak sound effects, an out of place soundtrack, and just lame film quality. Comic book movies are often a bit campy, but this stretched further and completely absorbed every corny element any member of the crew could conjure.
In a few spots the movie did have a glimpses of quality, most likely by complete accident. But overall, it was a giant turd of a movie. The only good part of this movie is that they’ll make 2 sequels and reboot the entire franchise again. And the only way they can possibly make a worse reboot is if they just refilm this one.
And for the sake of my friends, I’ll never mention this movie again.
Comments (6)
oddly enough, darwins mutant power in the comics did eventually lead him to become more white, and he was one of the few mutants to survive through house of M story arc
Although I haven’t kept up with the dross since, like, ‘Gone wid da wind’, I do appreciate sharp reviews, and chances are, your unabashed bash here was more interesting than watching this in person. 20 shekels, is it? IDK, I’m that out of touch.
Hope you are enjoying the rest of your trip/ JS
I don’t read the comics, so maybe I am poorly out of my element… but I rather enjoyed the film. I agree, the kid mutant recruits left much to be desired. But I loved the effects, and I loved the story line and the casting of Xavier and Eric. I rewatched the 2nd X-Men film the other day and thought that one was terrible. Maybe I just really hate the girl who played Rogue. Ugh! lol.
@kirlynz - Yea, the relationship between Eric and Xavier in this movie was great and I liked the casting. If it hadn’t been for their interactions, I’d have torn the screen down while I exited the theater. I just didn’t feel the rest of the movie arise to the level of their scenes.
@Rveblade - First, it was awesome to be at your birthday bash. I hope you remember that I made an appearance. And I didn’t realize that about Darwin.
@jsolberg - I expected nothing of the movie, then all of the great reviews made me expect something. The best plan of attack, if you see the movie, is to not expect anything.
@PopeOnABomb - Of course I remember…I was drunk, not amnesic. And I have photo evidence no less! It was good to see you again…you will have to come out and visit me in chicago sometime.