June 24, 2011
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Babbel On
A few months ago, while waiting at a bus stop, an entertaining person waited along with us. Judging by his style of dress (not bum-like) and physical movements, the stream of conscious dialogue he ran most likely came from a very solid drug induced high.
Or he may have simply been the most entertaining person I have ever listened to at a bus stop.
He talked fast enough that I had trouble writing everything he said down, but I did manage to capture a few gems:
- “I have no idea what is going on. Paint me in chocolate.” – (He sounds like Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock. And this is probably a sentence I should work in to every day life.)
- “I don’t need a job. I need to be on a giant massive platform rotating in some sort of energy bubble powered by steam with an antenna.” – (He might be brain storming for Wayne Coyen.)
- “Mexican soccer players. If they could run faster and drink more beer than us, we would shoot them in the Home Depot parking lot. Home Depot is French for IKEA.” – (One of us is not fluent in French.)
Those were not even separate thoughts. They all came in the same long, breathless babbel.
That story sits in the top of our Bus Stop Stories along with the time a couple called us “HE-HAWS” and made a donkey sound us. Next, they snickered at us and ran away. Then, the wife tried to awkwardly walk in to me head first. And last of all, hoping we would chase after the food, they threw pieces of bread in to the crosswalk while staring at us and giggling.
And more than once someone has walked up and said “You are an angel,” to Laura, and “You are evil,” to me. The first time you laugh. The second time you laugh nervously. And after that, from personal experience I can tell you, it makes you start to to feel a little paranoid.
“…Maybe it is my shirt. Does the tag say evil? Is this what happens when you wear brown shoes with a black belt? Does Groupon have deals on exorcisms? Perhaps one is needed, just to be on the safe side? Is evil transferable, like that Denzel Washington movie, Fallen?”
Cities are the most bizarre places to live.
Comments (5)
I love stories about the folks you meet on buses. I mean folks YOU meet. As in, anyone but me. The people I met on that lone Greyhound voyage will forever haunt my subconscious, sending forth nightmarish dreams from an alternate plane of reality.
I’ve never actually had anyone call me evil to my face, but I have heard about a few of my husband’s friends calling me something along those lines while considering him my polar opposite. At first, it pissed me off, but then I got to know them and it made me laugh. Of course they would think I’m evil incarnate. I can take care of myself without a trust fund.
Er… what?
I used to ride the bus downtown when I worked in the city, because it was cheaper than parking. I had this habit of nodding off during the ride, and one time I woke up when the conversation of a couple of girls across the aisle and behind me registered in my mind. They were talking about how many people they had stabbed, and I opened my eyes to find I was alone in the back half of the bus with them. Fun times. Great story! BTW you don’t look evil to me – ???
@WritingTheTides - In the BART going through Oakland two really thug guys came on and were quietly talking about how they were going to have to kill someone over a bad drug deal.
@Prolixity_Split - I think it would be fun to take Greyhound on a short trip, but no one seems to have any good stories. Everyone seems to come back with those alternate plains of reality.
@PopeOnABomb - One of the conversational topics that was featured among people on the first leg of the trip, from the middle of the bus to the front of the bus, was “Things My Parents Beat Me With.”
The second leg of the trip, I fell asleep the mother of a two year old who was on vacation with my parents and woke up surrogate mother to a 16 year old girl, who was sleeping with her head on my shoulder and her arms wrapped around mine, and HER two year old daughter, who was sitting on my lap, listening to my headphones.
Greyhound travel was interesting… and kind of scary.
I very much enjoyed this post. I also loved the photos you posted from your trip. It makes me long to travel more. Or at least to more culturally enriching places than Tampa.