June 28, 2011
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Move Over, Someecards
Saturday we attended a baby shower. Here is the card we took:
Yes, that is an awesome card. No, I did not draw it.
But I did write the message on the inside, because I write the best cards EVER.
I did not let Laura see what I wrote before I sealed the card. Otherwise there is a concerned conversation about “questionable content” of the card, or poor penmanship, or the risk of having to write a new card.
Comments (15)
ROFL. awesome.
Tee-hee. Here’s hoping that one makes it into the baby book!
That is the best baby shower card ever! You will be remembered for it, I’m sure.
Best. card. ever.
LOL
Haha!
boys are gross
hahaha, that is HILARIOUS!
BAHAHAHAHAHA. Nicely done.
If you’re not working for Hallmark, the world won’t make any sense to me.
If this is for real, I’d love to see pics/video of people’s reactions. That’d be priceless. I mean, you can put a black bar across their eyes or whatever to “protect their identity.” I’d almost pay to see that shit.
@Unstoppable_Inner_Strength - Yes, I absolutely gave this card to my friends. The husband (my comedic soulmate) loved it. His wife a good sport about it. Cards from me are kind of legendary. I once used the word vagina in a Christmas card.
@opticalnoise - Thanks!
@nerdyveggiegirl - Glad you liked it!
@lanney - You say gross, I say scientifically accurate.
@ShimmerBodyCream - I have my moments.
@nimbusthedragon - If you ever need a card written, I am at your service.
@WritingTheTides - On the way to the party I found a bunch of Buddhist cassette tapes in Chinese that a store down the street was throwing out. So between the card, the tapes, and the actual gifts, I think there was something for everyone.
@Prolixity_Split - Once George is born, my goal is to teach him this in real life.
@methodElevated - This card earned me a VOLCANO. That is pretty damn epic. Thanks!
@paganmelly - Glad I got you laughing!
@PopeOnABomb - Another fun fact: The average male ejaculate contains approximately 13 grams of protein, making it a darn good source of the stuff. You can save that gem for when George is a sex-appropriate age.
Once in a bored moment I peered through my little microscope at a couple million of my half-a-human prototypes. Couldn’t really pick out one more remarkable than his buddies. Lots of tail-wagging though, until they realized they weren’t going anywhere big-time this round.
Mazal tov to George, et al.
Haha, that’s a good one!