January 8, 2012

• Hugo in 3D

  I had a free movie ticket that expired right before the holidays, so Laura and I headed to the movie theater. We’d already seen the incredibly good Muppet movie, so Hugo in 3D seemed to be the next best option.

  We were wrong. Let me start with a small piece of praise; visually the movie is stunning. It moves too slowly. Fifteen minutes in I started looking at my wrist watch. The plot is beyond predictable since nothing of interest actually happens, and the lack of plot means there is no plot twist. The climax of the movie is massively anticlimactic, and in general the movie fails to provide anything that would actually present a good experience.

  Also, Hugo is a retard. The entire movie could be avoided if he had simply said “Sir, I need that sketch book back because it is the last item I have of my father.” He has about 10 chances to utter that sentence, and he is too dumbfounded by an ignorant brain to utter the needed words.

  And as an orphan he is in constant fear of being caught and thrown in to an orphanage by the train station’s master. Once he does get caught, does he explain to the station master “My uncle disappeared, and I am the one who has been maintaining your clocks? See, I am useful!” But no, he keeps his mouth shut.

  What a little twit.

  • 7:46 pm
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