April 28, 2012

• Got To-Go

  Last night we saw Ivan & Alyosha open for Rosie Thomas at the Hotel Utah in SOMA. The Hotel Utah happens to have a bar inside of it that happens to have a cavity in it. Someone looked at that cavity, which is substantially smaller than our apartment, and decided to jam a tiny stage in it, cram a few chairs in front of that, and then let thirty people sardine in behind the chairs.

  Yes, you can fit a stage inside of a bar inside of a hotel, but the result is more novel than practical. It is the equivalent of a turducken. And though the space is a bit awkward, we enjoyed the concert.

  As I purchased a beer at the bar, I noticed that one of my fellow concert goers had a to-go box of Chinese food. And I really wanted to buy it from her. I didn’t want to buy it because I needed dinner. I wanted to buy it just to baffle Laura by returning with some random stranger’s Chinese food.

  I’ll give you $10 for that Chinese food. 
  Why?
  Because I have $10.
  Okay. If you really want it. But you have to recycle the box.
  Deal. 

  She returns to her friends…

  Jenny, what happened to your Chinese food?
  I sold it to that guy over there.
  Why did you do that? 
  He had $10.
  He doesn’t look like someone who would recycle.
  I had the same thought! 

  Meanwhile I return to Laura…

  What are you eating?
  Chinese food.
  Why?
  Because I bought it.
  Do they sell it at the bar?
  Nope. That girl over there does.
  You can’t keep eating food from strangers*! You’ll recycle the box, right?

  (* A friend had a birthday at a pizza parlor. I love pizza crust and I didn’t know most of the people. But I trust the friends of my friends, so I spent some time convincing these stranger-friends to give me their unwanted crust.)

  Then anytime I spotted someone with a to-go box of Chinese food, I’d buy it. Eventually Laura would turn to Dear Abbey for help.

  Dear Abbey,

  My boyfriend keeps buying to-go boxes of Chines food from strangers. I’m not appalled, but I find the behavior concerning. And I think he has started doing it when I’m not around. Also he has started to carry low-sodium soy sauce and a pair chopsticks with him at all times. How do I address the issue without making him mad?

  Sincerely,
  Chop-stuck.

  • 8:56 pm
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