March 13, 2009
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Striations
At OSU, in my first architecture studio I sat by Tegan and Kristin; two very fun girls and good friends at the time. I still keep in touch with Tegan. In fact, I went to Tegan’s wedding. That was the garter that started my garter catching streak. But I lost contact with Kristin long ago.
One weekend we all went to Tegan’s apartment to eat pizza, drink, and watch movies.
Between the two of us, Kristin and I finished an entire fifth of Whiskey – not quickly, but over the course of an entire evening. Needless to say, you’re pretty gone after that much whiskey.
Kristin had been trained and worked as a masseuse. She also took ecstasy sometimes. I don’t approve of drug use, and I’ve never taken drugs (not even pot) – but I can’t police my friends, so whatever.
She offered to give me a back massage, and I accepted of course. I don’t think I had a choice – I was already face down on the couch about to fall asleep. And I remember it lasted forever.
(No, it didn’t turn into anything X rated – we were on a couch in the living room of someone else’s apartment at a small party.)The point of the story is this: if you ever split a fifth of whiskey with a masseuse, and then receive a massage from her, while she is on ecstasy, it will be impossible for you to to ever enjoy another back massage to that degree. It is the nirvana of massages. You don’t need the Dhali Lama. You need a crazy friend.
From that moment on, my back and shoulder muscles took a permanent vacation. To this day my muscles are still relaxed. A nuclear holocaust could take place on my shoulders, and I wouldn’t be able to feel it for anything.
It always reminded me of something that Hunter S. Thompson might have happen (either the massage or the nuclear holocaust, but specifically the massage). On the other hand, a massage from him wouldn’t have interested me. Then again, if Kristin never publishes a book, that story won’t have many bragging rights.
ps – The funniest post I’ve seen this week.
Comments (6)
wow…. now i want a massage from a drunk girl on ex. i enjoyed the read.
Aw, I was actually predicting something kinky happened after reading this post halfway though! At least, the massage is good. Given that she is all drunk and high, it is all good that the massage didn’t went the wrong way.
Massages are amazing!
as soon as I heard “fifth of whiskey” I knew it was going to be a good story
OMG that post! LOLOL!!!!! People like that just make me shake my head at the world.
@LuxteK - Thanks for stopping by and reading
@Rveblade - Well, it is one of my few stories that start with “Fifth of whiskey”