I'll be honest. I spent most of my day asking co-workers about their weekend, so that I could in turn tell them about how I jumped out of a plane at 15,000 feet. Not only that, I followed up by spending Sunday playing Settlers of Catan with friends and then going to a Ben Folds concert. And as I played video games this evening, I ate Star Wars fruit snacks. The one shaped like Yoda was even green. How appropriate!

A few interesting bits about sky diving...

1. I plummeted towards the Earth while strapped to a Frenchman named Lorenco, who has logged over 2,000 jumps.
2. For the sake of my family's nerves, I did not tell them I was going.
3. My friend Ryan lost his wedding ring somewhere between 15,000 and 0 feet.
4. An oddly entertaining part of sky diving is reading the very fine print of the longest waiver you will ever sign, as seen below:

I asked for an upgrade to the "by infallible god or gods of your choosing", but they were fresh out of that form.

Last weekend Laura went back to Oklahoma to see her brother graduate, and that left me alone in the big city of San Francisco. Here is what I did:

Friday Night:

First, I had a solo dinner at at Sushi Hunter in North Beach. I cannot get enough of spicy tuna rolls. Eventually humans are going to over fish and over hunt all of the delicious animals, and soon we'll be left to eat all of the creatures that tasty nasty. I'm dreading the day the human diet switches to raw horse shoe crab sushi rolls sprinkled with roly polies.

Next, I hit up Cobb's Comedy Club with some friends (Jordan, Matt, and Emily). We saw: Charlenne Yi, Brent Weinbach, and Arj Barker (Dave from Flight of the Conchords) perform.

I've seen Charlenne Yi before, but I wouldn't categorize her as a comedian. She is an entertainer along the lines of Andy Kaufman and less a comedian. But our society doesn't have a niche for performers in that category, so they get lumped in to comedian. Her sets aren't jokes as much as they are odd stories about herself or her thoughts. On stage she manages to be awkward, shy, funny, sad, and over sharing at the same. She has some of that Charles Bukowski bitter sweet in her stories. I am not saying she is a bad performer. On the contrary, I enjoy seeing her perform. Instead I'm giving you a hint about what to expect when you see her on stage, so that you know how to enjoy her performance.

Brent Weinbach. Holy shit, this man rocks and is now in my top 5 favorite upcoming comedians. Here are two glorious YouTube clips of him:

As for Arj Barker, I always enjoy seeing him on stage, but I've seen a lot of his material at this point, and his style isn't random enough for me to place him in my top ten. If you get a chance, you should definitely see this man perform. Also, he had definitely been drinking or abusing some substance before the show. He wasn't drinking on stage, but he absolutely became less sober throughout his set. About 15 minutes from the end he started to come back down. It was strange, as though his own comedy drugged him as he told it. Drinking or doing any sort of drug is not a very brilliant move if you're an entertainer, because it definitely affects your performance and is completely transparent to the crowd. He should know better.

Saturday:

I started the morning with a birthday brunch in Noe Valley for IdiotFactory, a former Xangan and long time friend from college. That was followed by a trip to Calumet camera store to get some actual film for my cameras: 35mm for the Kodak Retina IIa and 120mm for the M645. I also discovered there is a mechanical issue with my Retina IIa, so I had to temporarily fix it with twist ties. All hail the wonder and power of the might twist tie! You can fix cameras with them aside from making tiny stick figure sculptures out of them or using them to organize your cables and children.

While walking back to the apartment, I could hear a group of people singing "Like a Prayer" by Madonna. I am not sure why a group of Asian girls were in formation singing this song, but they were. Welcome to San Francisco. But what the hell, why not? I'm always seeing Chinese people doing Tai Chi in the neighborhood. Maybe it is some rebellious version of Tai Chi. It didn't involve lighting off fireworks though, so I'm not sure how Chinese this might actually be. For those who don't know, the Chinese love fireworks. Every occasion is used as an excuse for people in China Town to light of fireworks.

Then it was off to the race track, and by race track I mean Alcatraz with my comedy friend Neel and 4 of his friends. I thought I was meeting a group of guys and that we'd make random mafia movie references and Sean Connery impressions while wandering around on the audio tour, but instead Neel's friends turned out to be 4 beautiful, smart Indian girls (Neta, Mala, Shruti, and Vani). It really made me miss hanging out with Beenu and Meenu in college, and it made me want some curry. Actually, it made me anxious to hang out with my old college friends for a weekend. Also, is there such thing as an unattractive non-intelligent Indian? It doesn't even seem fair.

Geek: I came up with little ways to remember the girls' names. For Vani, I had to think of the Na'vi from Avatar, and then swap the consonants. Thank you Mr. Cameron, for creating an epic movie in 3D so that I could remember the names of Indian friends.

I TOUCHED A SEAGULL, much to the chagrin of Mala. The bird was sitting on the edge of a cement wall. I slowly crept up behind him, and then quickly extended my hand and touched him. SCORE. It is now confirmed that I can successfully sneak up on elderly people, seagulls, and squirrels. Mala is a med student and spent the rest of the day concerned as to whether I'd washed my hands or not. I had hopes the seagull was radioactive and that I'd gain some super powers from it, but that would probably be the worst superhero ever. "He has gained the power to poop his body weight every hour." Yea, I doubt the public or statues would really be supportive of that hero.

After the island we went to Pier 23 and had their overpriced nachos, french fries, and beers, and then headed our separate ways.

Next, I hit up DoublePunch, the world's best toy store, for an art showing in their upstairs gallery. This is the store where I buy all of my robots, toys, and miniature whatnots for the shelves around the apartment. I should probably post a picture of my toy collection, since it has easily double since the last time I featured it here. They're big on supporting local artists, and about once a month they have an art showing for local artists. The art is typically very good.

Then it was off to the Metreon to watch Iron Man 2 on Imax with my friend Larry and his wife Mari. Aside from getting ripped off by the concession stand (they gave me a regular soda, not a large, which meant no free refill for me), I had a great time. Iron Man 2 isn't going to win an Oscar, and I wouldn't count it as a great movie. But it is definitely a good action movie that is fun to watch. There were some scenes that could have been cut because they added nothing to the character or plots. But overall, a great action flick to start the summer's movies.

After that I'd been invited to a rooftop party overlooking the financial district of SF or to go to a club, but both plans fell through, so I came home and watched high-definition movies on my glorious new 32" Sony Bravia flat screen TV. HD tv is the only way to go. The only problem is it ruins normal TV for you. After watching high definition movies and shows, normal television is just a sub-stellar experience. It will be great when everything is broadcast in high definition. Sunday I relaxed around the apartment, went our for pizza, meandered around North Beach taking photographs, and enjoying the new television.

That is a packed weekend.

Last weekend Laura and I went indoor skydiving. INCREDIBLE. And now I know that the fourth thing I'll buy when I win the lottery is an indoor skydiving facility. The first three things being: more lottery tickets, an above ground pool, and an oven mitt that looks like a lobster. It was a blast, and I recommend going. Before I jumped in I wanted to yell the famous Johnny Utah line from the movie Point Break: "Are we going to jerkoff or jump?". But I didn't know the other people in the group very well, and it might have quickly turned in to an awkward situation.

The first 60 seconds of this video are of me. When I sink it is because I'm losing form, which isn't overly difficult to hold, but holding the pose while being pushed around by 100+ mph winds is wearing. At the end of the video the instructor jumps in the tunnel and shows off with some tricks. When the instructors show off, the control booth operators crank up the wind speed.

If you watch this video and think immediately of a puzzle in the game Half-Life, then our beta waves are in sequence.

On Monday before we got on our flights back to California (we had separate

flights), Laura packed each of us a Ziploc bag that contained cheese

Combos and Beef Jerky. This is the most awesome airplane snack you can

take aboard an airplane, especially if you hook yourself up with a

delicious lime flavored Coca-Cola from Sonic before heading out of

Oklahoma City's Will Roger's World Airport.

Eating out of a Ziploc bag is great because it announces to everyone

that you don't have a care in the world. The Jerky announces that you

know how to navigate the woods and may have killed an animal and made

jerky of it. The Combos announce that you know to navigate a

supermarket and probably have one of those little "Members Only"

discount cards.

A year or two ago, I convinced Laura to buy a bag of Jelly Bellies for

me. The cashier accidentally rang up two bags, so Laura let me snag a

second bag instead of having the cashier void one. This rocked. It also

meant the next day, Sunday, I went to Church with a Ziploc bag fully of

Jelly Bellies.

If there had been any little kids around, I'd have traded some Jelly

Bellies for Honey Nut Cheerioes. As adults, we should all do more

things like this. Having a pocket of snacks in church is fun, and

teaching children to barter is a valuable life lesson. And a good

sermon is a good sermon, but a boring sermon with Jelly Bellies at

least tastes good.

I find videos of mascot fights hysterical, and this brings up the

question of which snack's mascot would win in a fight. But I'm not sure

Jelly Belly even has a mascot. I remember my sisters had shoes they

called jelly bellies, but that doesn't count.

I'm not sure who or what the Jelly Belly Mascot (JBM) is, but I bet he

is awesome and could take the Cheerio bee any day. Unless the JBM is

allergic to bees or is under the age of 2 and can't consume honey.

Either way the mascot of CaBJ (Combos and Beef Jerky, pronounced

"Cabbie Jay") could take them both.

The CaBJ mascot must be a Gundam-sized Lumberjack Robot that wields a

lightsaber axe and is driven by a derragined Panda named Gabriel Garcia

Marquez who lives on a diet of bamboo and whole-grain cereals rich in

fiber served in Jack Daniels.

I have to be on call for at my new job. For that reason, the company offered get me an iPhone or a blackberry and to foot the bill. I chose the iPhone, because Blackberries are at the top of my "Most Disappointing
Gadgets Ever" list. Now I have a G1 on T-Mobile and an iPhone on AT&T. And thanks to Google Voice, I have one number that rings
both phones, so it makes no difference which phone I choose to carry with me.

I've never read a comparison of the phones by someone who owns both phones and/or isn't one of those
stomach-sickening Apple fanboys, so I'm going to break that barrier right now.

There is no debate that the iPhone is the sexier phone with a more mature and fluid user interface. Also,
it was the first genuine smart phone. (Sure, there were devices called "smart phones" before, but we all know
those devices were ill-conceived pieces of retarded hardware.) But at this point, I'm not nearly impressed
by the iPhone. Don't get me wrong - I like the iPhone in many respects. However, it has plenty of its own flaws.

Reasons I Love the G1 More than My iPhone

1. When I drop my G1, the screen does not break and go to hell. I can use my G1, but I have to pamper my iPhone.
   Babies are more resilient than iPhones, and I definitely don't want to drop a child. I want a phone I can actually
   use without fearing that using it might destroy it.
2. I can replace my battery in 5 seconds, and it doesn't involve voiding my warranty or dealing with Apple store
   employees. Also, if I did choose to take my phone to T-Mobile and have the battery replaced, it doesn't wipe the data on my phone.
3. I can sync with more than one computer (I used Double Twist to sync my G1). The ability to sync my iPhone
   with iTunes is great, but it is completely defeated by limiting me to one computer. Imagine you bought a car to drive.
   Now, imagine you can either park the car at home or at work, but never one then the other.
4. More than one button. Apple blows at one thing: implementing buttons. The iPhone UI is seriously gimped by only having one button
   on the phone that really does anything, and the one thing it does is exit whatever you're doing. How convenient.
5. On my G1 I can listen to music, chat, write e-mails, and have my GPS navigation all going at the same time.
   The iPhone works well because it only does one thing at a time. You could consider it a sexy version of MS-DOS. Or, more accurately - The G1 is a mind blowing orgy. The iPhone is masturbation.
6. I always wanted the Android to have a better market, but the iPhone App store isn't actually much better. They're
   both gimped in numerous ways.
7. Though the iPhone has 12030192830129301283 apps and the G1 only has around 20,000, finding apps of the quality
   I want is easier on Android.
8. And specific to my phone, I love the G1s physical keyboard. I don't care who you are. I can out type any on-screen
   keyboardist any day of the week.

Last night we returned from Italy, 50 hours AFTER leaving our hotel. I'll explain that later. Even with the 50 hours of putting up with Alitalia bullshit, the trip to Italy was still excellent. And I'll tell more stories about it later. Since I normally travel solo, I've perfected the art of the self portrait. I last visited Rome and Florence in 2004, and I thought it would be neat to compare my most recent adventure with my past adventure.

I actually took the same shirt this time, but it didn't occur to me until after I took this photograph. It would have been awesome. Notice my eyebrows even have the same pose. Those sunglasses - my favorite pair ever - eventually died. They'd been to Europe 4 times before death struck their frames.

In 2004, my sister met up with me. Some of these photos feature her. This time I replaced my sister with my girlfriend. Once again, my eyebrows also remained in the same pose.

I still have that same pair of glasses. They're 6 years old, scratched to hell, and no longer have their optical surfacing. They're a bitch to wear, so I always pray my contacts hold up while I travel. The photo on the right features my famous "Professional Hitman" shirt, that I've had since high school. Damn it, this is making me realize I need to update my wardrobe.

Pirates have nothing to do with either of these photographs.

The last time I visited Italy, everything had scaffolding on it. Now they've thankfully removed the scaffolding. The Pope probably toke the scaffolding. Historically, anytime something in Italy is missing, a Pope took it. Example: all of the marble from the Roman buildings and monuments. Also, I still have that jersey, but I didn't take it along.

My favorite part here is that the picture on the left is taken at 3:30pm and the picture on the right at 3:15pm.